Your personal history is the thinking´s past and future as a whole, your
self-image and world-image moving from past towards future, as well as all the
experiences, conclusions, values, norms, ideals, theories, speculative
conceptions etc., which are manifestations of this history.
They are also symptoms of the will to power in this history, the desire
after becoming something, to control and form happiness, truth and reality.
In other words, they are symptoms of the self-production, the production
of your ego, the whole of this idea-complex, which creates the calculator, the
dreamer, the doubter, which place itself outside yourself and your
surroundings.
And they are symptoms of the consequences of this process: the
disappointments, the guilt, the sorrow, the bitterness, the anger, the
resistance, the anxiety, the hope, the despair, the unreality, the absence.
This process, the process of unreality, which so excellent has been
described by various authors, for instance in Camus´ The Stranger, Baudelaire´s The
Flowers of Evil, Dostojevskij´s Notes
From an Underground, Kafka´s The
Castle.
Also in the art of painting you can see it depicted, for instance by
Cezanne, Van Gogh, Picasso.
