We use ourselves over ability by doing things, which basically don´t interest us

Street art by Unknown

We use ourselves over ability by doing things, which basically don´t interest us. And at the same time we have still not found out, what we seriously are interested in: our true calling in life. We haven't discovered what our real interest is, and we feel a fundamental disappointment, bitterness, or perhaps rather guilt: the feeling of not having accomplished our possibilities, the feeling of lack of life-unfolding and unlived life, and the annoyances over this. 

The cause of the inner emptiness is the desire after becoming something

The more emphasis which is being put on the outer greatness, the greater is the inner guilt over unlived life.

But freedom from this guilt is not asceticism.

The cause of this inner emptiness is the desire after becoming something; and no matter what you do, then this emptiness can never be filled out.

You can escape from it, whether it happens in a clumsy way, or in a more cunning way; but you can´t move further away from it than from your own shadow.

You perhaps don´t want to look into this emptiness, but it is there nevertheless.

Neither those ornaments things can give you, nor the suit of penance, which the soul can dress in, can conceal this inner poverty.

In the process of becoming, you are a living dead

The process of what you are becoming what you want to be, is a never-ending process, and therefore the conflict is never-ending.

And all this time you don´t live, see or feel.

You are a living dead.

And this is connected with a constant feeling of guilt, which you can´t place anywhere.

The hunger after doing something positive, opposite the negative, makes us strive after being something else

The hunger after doing something positive, opposite the negative, makes us strive after being something else; in this struggle we feel, that we are alive, that there is a purpose with our life, that we gradually can remove the causes of the conflict and the sorrow.

We feel, that if we no longer were active, we would be nothing, be lost, our lives would be completely without meaning.

Therefore we continue, and that will say: we continue the divisions, the conflicts, the confusions and the opposites.

But in this process we at the same time feel, that there is something more which we all the time loose, that there exists something, which is quite different, something, which is above and beyond all this distress and misery.

This feeling is the existential guilt, the guilt over the unlived life.

In this way a permanent struggle is going on inside us.