Your ego creates the calculator, the dreamer, the doubter, which place itself outside yourself and your surroundings

Your personal history is the thinking´s past and future as a whole, your self-image and world-image moving from past towards future, as well as all the experiences, conclusions, values, norms, ideals, theories, speculative conceptions etc., which are manifestations of this history.

They are also symptoms of the will to power in this history, the desire after becoming something, to control and form happiness, truth and reality.

In other words, they are symptoms of the self-production, the production of your ego, the whole of this idea-complex, which creates the calculator, the dreamer, the doubter, which place itself outside yourself and your surroundings.

And they are symptoms of the consequences of this process: the disappointments, the guilt, the sorrow, the bitterness, the anger, the resistance, the anxiety, the hope, the despair, the unreality, the absence.

This process, the process of unreality, which so excellent has been described by various authors, for instance in Camus´ The Stranger, Baudelaire´s The Flowers of Evil, Dostojevskij´s Notes From an Underground, Kafka´s The Castle.

Also in the art of painting you can see it depicted, for instance by Cezanne, Van Gogh, Picasso.